NATIONAL LAW
Every fifth song on Canadian radio must be by a Canadian born citizen.
You may not pay for a fifty-cent item with only pennies.
Citizens may not publicly remove bandages.
Section 331 of the Canadian Criminal Code states that it is illegal to send a telegram or letter threatening a bird.
ALBERTA PROVINCIAL LAWS
Businesses must provide rails for tying up horses.
Wooden logs may not be painted.
You may never use dice to play craps.
If you are released from prison, it is required that you are given a handgun with bullets and a horse, so you can ride out of town.
BRITISH COLUMBIA PROVINCIAL LAWS
It is illegal to kill a sasquatch.
The best place in Canada to be imprisoned - if you=re a bankrupt drunk - is B.C. A law there requires jailers to bring convicted debtors a pint of beer on demand.
NEW BRUNSWICK PROVINCIAL LAWS
Driving on the roads is not allowed.
NOVA SCOTIA PROVINCIAL LAWS
When raining, a person may not water his/her lawn.
ONTARIO PROVINCIAL LAWS
The speed limit is 80 kph for cars, but bicyclists have the right of way.
QUEBEC PROVINCIAL LAWS
It is illegal to turn right on a red light at any time.
All business signs in the province of Quebec must be in French. If the business operator wishes to have English on the sign, the French must be at least twice as large as the English is. There are no laws governing the usage of other languages on signs. -Bill 101 (Passed 1976)
CITY LAWS:
Etobicoke
Bylaw states that no more than 3.5 inches of water is allowed in a bathtub.
Cobourg
If you have a water trough in your front yard it must be filled by 5:00 a.m.
Gananoque
Homeowners are responsible for clearing snow off of municipal sidewalks.
Guelph
The city is classified as a no-pee zone.
Kanata
The color of house and garage doors is regulated by city bylaws (a purple door get you a fine). It is also illegal to have a clothes line in your backyard.
You can't work on your car in the street.
Oshawa
It's illegal to climb trees.
Homeowners are responsible for clearing snow off of municipal sidewalks. If sidewalks is not cleaned within 24 hours after a snowfall, city workers will clean it and the cost will be placed on the homeowners tax bill.
Ottawa
It is illegal to eat ice-cream on Bank Street on a Sunday.
Toronto
You can't drag a dead horse down Yonge St. on a Sunday.
Uxbridge
Residents are not allowed to have an Internet connection faster than 56k.
Wawa
You may not paint ladders, because if it is wet it is slippery.
It is illegal to show public affection on Sunday.
Beaconsfield
It is considered an offense to have more than two colors of paint on your house.
You may not own a log cabin.
Montr�al
The Queen Elizabeth Hotel must feed your horse freely when you rent a room.
You may not wash your car in the street.
You may not park a car in such a way that it is blocking your own driveway.
"For Sale" signs are not permitted in the windows of moving vehicles.
Cars parked in public places must be locked, and their windows must be down to less than the width of a hand.
One's rear license plate may not be protected by glass or plastic.
You may not swear in French.
Citizens may not relieve themselves or spit on the street. Punishable by a fine of over 100 Canadian dollars.
Outremont
Not only do all exterior painting jobs require a permit (for color) but, for instance, the City went to Appeals Court over the exact type of division inside a window frame .
Prince George, B.C.
in my homecity, where I work as a bylaw enforcment officer it is illegal to park you car on city residental streets during the day while snow removal is taking place. See how I deal with parking offenders during snow removal.
Cry of bird disturbing the neighborhood.
there was the neighbor that complained about the the neighborhood dogs barking, only to turn around to buy himself ornamental birds. The rooster's cook-a-doodeling in the early morning hours awakened the whole neighborhood.
Depositing waste in an open place (pee & poop bylaw?)
my biggest career scoop was catching two intoxicated young men relieving their excess amount of beer onto the city sidewalk.
Keeping cattle in a residential zone
One little piggy met its demise and was made into sausages because his owner was not aware that he was not allowed to keep a pig on a city lot.
Cattle on highway
Animal control officers and myself rounded up a young bull frollicking on the City Highway. Its owner netted a $100.00 fine.
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